


Seek and you shall find.

by MoonShine97



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock - Fandom, Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Albuterol, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Asthma, Chronic Illness, Established Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, Hiding, Hiding Medical Issues, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Major Illness, Medical, Medical Conditions, Medication, Mycroft Being a Good Brother, POV Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock Being Sherlock, Sherlock Holmes Has Feelings, Sherlock Whump, Sick Character, Sick Sherlock, Sickfic, Whump, inhaler
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-16 10:40:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28705308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoonShine97/pseuds/MoonShine97
Summary: Short story about Sherlock hiding an illness from his boyfriend   .
Relationships: Sherlock/John - Relationship
Comments: 1
Kudos: 25





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Continually being updated.  
> All Sherlock characters are property of Gatiss. No money for this , just fun . 
> 
> My property : Carl Helms

\- Sherlock, this is not a joke, I thought it had become clear at some point in this conversation

Sherlock snorted. 

\- Do you know who you're talking to, Helms?  
-Yes, with the person or rather I would say ... patient, more stubborn, foolish and deaf than I have ever known.

Sherlock just gave a rolleye as he walked slowly in a robe , across the baker street room to his window, only to gaze at the snow settling on the sidewalk.

Carl got up from his chair and walked over with a hand on Sherlock's shoulder, staring at the detective's back.

\- Hey ... you know that I consider you as my son, right? . Sherlock could only nod

\- I just ... I just want to have everything under control and ... sometimes my own self does not find the way.

\- Hey! I know that all this time and everything you've been through has been difficult, but now with John here, you must give yourself a new chance, don't you think?

\- Mhm, it's just that, since the last attack ...nothing has been the same. The detective said as he turned to the doctor.

\- I know and that's why your brother called me.

\- My dear brother meddles in matters that are not his concern

-And you know that he only does it because he loves you, even if you two don't show it. I know that last month with the beginning of winter, it was not easy for you and hey .. I was scared, just like your brother, when I saw you arrive at the ER almost unable to breathe.

\- That was a stupid mistake..just that ..

-Look at me . The doctor, who could be a contemporary of Lestrade's age or perhaps a little older, told him with a sweet smile, as he took Sherlock by the chin so that he would raise his face.

You know ... all these years hiding your medical condition ... , you should just tell John. He is your boyfriend and he loves you, they are getting married and now you have Rosie. 

\- Precisely Carl, is all that .. everything is against me. He's a doctor, we're getting married and ... If he doesn't accept it? If he leaves?  
-Sherlock, he wouldn't do it, he loves you. He overcome a "death" of you in the past, this is nothing compared to that.  
\- No, you don't understand !!! Sherlock took the doctor's hand off his shoulder forcefully, and walked into the center of the room.

He wouldn't bear one more betrayal of his trust. That's the matter.

__________________________________________________

John had started working at the university as a professor of surgery giving theory classes and he was delighted. After the event with Mary and having to take care of Rosie alone, this job gave him stability. He was called for surgery to work certain hours and the university had a stable schedule.

On the other hand, it happened that he had to accept that he was in love with Sherlock and surprisingly slowly everything in his life was returning to normal, he was being happy. Of course, Sherlock had given Rosie a second surname .. Watson Holmes and months later John had proposed to Sherlock, he accepted.

A year after all this had happened and now between the Holmes cases, surgery and the university, he decided to agree to give a short classes in tactical medicine for considerable money ( Mycroft request) to a battalion that was a few hours from Baker Street," to clear the mind" . Although he was concerned about Sherlock becoming a functional adult, taking care of Rosie, work online for Greg and not set fire to the flat while he was out.

**********************  
Pls comment :3 , I will do another one tomorrow .Happy night 🌃


	2. Here , always little brother.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 2nd chapter , enjoy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pls comment.

\- It's not as bad as it seems, Sherlock...

\- Sorry? Do I Iook like a pharmacy?

\- Last time I was here, you said you wanted to get this under control and it will be better if u do it before John got here. Look, u have here only the necessary medications.  
Albuterol and epinephrine inhalers plus a bromide anticholinergic one. Look at it on the nice side. I'm only giving you two budesonide and fluticasone preventives, before you had five ... and finally the oral Prednisolone.  
All of the above excluding epipens and daily nebulizer treatments.

Sherlock could only look at his chair with his arms crossed, this was incredible... incredible shit! 

-Tell me at what point this got to be this bad.

\- Go ahead , Sherlock. Because it could be at different points. When you relapsed into drugs and you weren't taking your medications or when your brother took you to work at ... I don't even remember where... and brought you shattered, or your attempt to die at the hands of a lunatic philanthropist, the shooting, do you want me to continue?

\- Stop! It has been a fairly clear illustration , Helms.

\- So ... take it or leave it?

\- I will do my best to follow your prescription to the letter, however I do not promise .... miracles.

\- It is not a matter of promising, it is a matter of fulfilling it. For that reason, your sweet little brother has installed an app on ur phone , that you will have to fill every day with information on vital signs, saturation and peep.

\- And I thought that the camera behind you was enough, courtesy of my brother.

\- And look at you! As a New Year's gift I have brought you two things, an antiallergic scarf and a medical bracelet.

\- You're dreaming if you think I'm going to wear a medical emergency bracelet..

\- Doctor orders, dear little brother, or you won't want me to tell mom about your episode a month ago. Mycroft said in a serious voice as he walked into Baker Street with his umbrella hitting the ground.

\- You would not be able to....

\- Little brother, I am capable of many things. I'm not in this government job , for nothing.

Sherlock only laughed lightly.

\- Behave! And say goodbye and thank you to our dear doctor. I'll send you my brother's daily reports to your doctor account.

\- I hope so...Mycroft, Sherlock ... good afternoon.

______________________________________________________

-Sherlock! Open the door

-what do you want? , get out, leave me alone! 

-No no no. You're not going to get anything with this attitude. I've made dinner, please come out or I'll take you out myself. Your medications have arrived, so please do something for your life.

Sherlock opened the door softly, letting the smells coming from his ex-lab (now kitchen) flood his room. It was a delicious scent, one that he didn't fight with the incessant pain in his chest that he had while breathing.

Mycroft leaned against the wall a few feet from Sherlock's door, while he took his tea.

\- You've had another episode, haven't you? Sherlock just nodded.  
I've made you some tea, sit down and I'll serve you.

(Although Sherlock wanted to yell at him that all that sympathy disgusted him, he recognized Mycroft's efforts to take care of him, he must have done it differently only once and maybe, just maybe he wouldn't end up in the hospital , one Christmas)  
________________________________________________________

No doubt listening to Mycroft brought calm to his chest , while they played chess. Mycroft's tea was heaven , it was warm and soft with his mistreated throat, due to so many treatments and medications. Sherlock just slept on the couch softly, while his brother covered him with a blanket and kissed his forehead.

\- I'll be back tomorrow, we have to pick up Rosie at Molly Hooper's house. See you at 10 am. Take care dear brother. Love u Sherlock  
\- Love u ,Myc.

****************************

Pleaseeee! Comment and give ideas . Love u dear readers.


	3. Begin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please feel free to comment 😋.

Sherlock is 34. 17 years ago:

Sherlock had been running from school desperately to his house. The unbearable and moronic of his classmates were enraged, by a comment he had made in class. It wasn't the first time Sherlock had been harassed by them, but it was one of the times that he had taken something physical. He had been beaten between seven and every part of his body hurt, he just wanted to get to the safety lap of his mother (he did not care what Mycroft thought, it was a safe place).

They were following him, he could hear the laughter and threats coming up behind him, as he ran as fast as he could, there was only one more block left. He was sure he would pass out at some point on the sidewalk, the black edges on his vision were appearing again. Again that strange sensation of tightness in the chest hovered over him, he could not breathe, that was horrendous and for some unknown reason his breathing had an unpleasant sound. This had to be something else, although Mycroft had dismissed the possibility of something serious and emphasized to Sherlock that it was simple anxiety, that once and for all , Sherlock should stop bothering his parents with his "apparent attacks " ... they were just tantrums, tantrums that had lasted more than 10 years.

What he could see when he was arriving at the Holmes mansion, was gold in his eyes. There was his father and his brother, who had come on vacation from the university to spend with the family. They were talking to Luis, one of the butler of the mansion.

Mycroft noticed the bleeding wounds that Sherlock had on his face and together with his father they approached his brother, who was now falling on the grass in front of them.

\- What happened Sherlock?  
\- Oh my God! Who hit you, son?  
\- They ... come ... after me. Sherlock could only force those words as he tried to remove the awkward tie that adjusted his throat, he couldn't breathe.

Almost as if he was calling out to them, the gang of boys appeared and Mycroft headed towards them. The boys just stood still, they had never seen a relative of Sherlock, in fact they thought he was an orphan, the asshole orphan they could tease.  
Mycroft grabbed one of the older ones by the collar of the school jacket and lifted him off the ground.

\- Listen to me well, if I ever, know or see again that you are messing with my brother, I swear to God.... that the only thing that all of you are going to know will be a jail with some nice uniforms with your names. DO YOU UNDERSTAND IT?

They didn't have time to nod, they just ran.  
Mycroft came back to his father .

\- Sherlock! What was that drama! Did not we teach you to defend yourself? How is it possible that those people hit you?  
\- Stop, Mycroft! I think something is...is wrong with him.  
-Father, the only thing that happens to Sherlock is that he is throwing one of his tantrums. Get up and go inside ..  
-No, it's not that, look at his lips, they are turning blue, he can't breathe. Call Helms , And an ambulance, now.!!!!

Mycroft could only get closer to his brother who was lying on the floor and taking his head he realized that what his father mentioned was true. He thought all this time that he was just something of a spoiled child, but he could have been wrong and he doesn't knew . He would never forgive himself if something happened to his little brother. He loved him.  
___________________________________________________________

Mycroft entered to the house and quickly called an ambulance, who assured that they would be arriving in 20 minutes because the rural place where they were. He then called Carl, he had recently been hired as the Holmes family physician and lived only two houses away from them.

\- Come on, come on pick up the phone Carl!  
\- Hello? Who calls?  
\- Here Mycroft, doctor ...we need you , my brother , you have to come and ..  
\- Calm down boy! What happened? I can not understand you.  
-Just ... he's on the floor and he can't breathe, he just makes a horrible sound and ... he has blue lips.  
\- Mycroft calls an ambulance right now! I'll be there in two minutes. Just try to sit him, I think it's an asthma attack.  
\- What?  
\- Come on Myc, do what I say, bye.

Mycroft could only think of running. There was his brother, on the ground.  
\- What did he say, !!!? Myc !!!   
-He'll be here in two minutes, he said to have him sit down.  
\- Come on Sherlock, lean on me, son! You can't die, not like this.

Sherlock was firmly holding on to his father's shirt with his two hands, he didn't want to separate from him, he was afraid, it wasn't logical to be afraid, but ... he didn't know what else to feel, he didn't want to die, he wanted to hold on to something. He couldn't make any more effort to breathe, he was tired. He just passed out.

\- hey, hey! Sherlock ,answer me , no ,no ,no, no, don't do this to me, not now brother...  
\- Get out of the way Mycroft.  
\- Helms! He's not breathing , he can't ... oh God.

Mother Holmes just appeared running accompanied by Luis, on tears.  
\- Carlston Holmes !!! what's wrong with my baby, my baby!  
\- No, come on! let the doctor work,dear   
\- my baby, my baby ... you can't die.

Helms was on his knees in front of the boy, he didn't look good at all. He took the pulse and they are still there beating strongly, from his breathing on the other hand he could say otherwise, it was totally obstructed.  
\- Give me my bag! Myc 

Helms pulled out an epipen and without hesitation put it in Sherlock's thigh.  
\- What is that?  
\- It's epinephrine, 5,6,7,8,9 ...  
\- Will that help him ?  
-Yes, he has closed airways, this will open it. Is this the first time something like this has happened? Helms said, as he checked her pulse and breathing. Sherlock was beginning to breathe.  
\- Yes. Said Mycroft   
\- No, Sherlock's parents exclaimed.  
\- What?  
-Sorry, I just thought he was a tantrum, I didn't think it was anything serious.  
-How could you Mycroft Holmes! Yelled his father.  
-Sorry, I just ...

Sirens could be heard in the distance.  
\- Mycroft, please guide them here. This is no place to argue.Helms said

Paramedics approached to the Holmes family.  
\- Dr. Helms  
\- Maggie!  
\- What we have ?  
\- Male, 17 years old, without previously known pathologies, who presents an apparent clinic state of severe asthmatic attack .Pulse130, breathing per minute 8. I gave him a dose of epipen and it has been leveling off for the past few minutes.  
\- Possibility of brain damage? Doctor..  
\- A little bit , I tried to treat him early.  
\- Let's put him a tube.  
\- One eight tube, please.  
\- Mmmm, Sherlock said followed by a round of horrible coughs, as they put him into the ambulance.  
\- Here ,I am here love, here I am.  
\- Don't try to talk, Sherlock, you have a tube on your throat to help.you breathe.  
\- Doctor, how is my son?  
-He's doing his best Carlston  
\- Shhhh little brother, I'll go behind you in the car with mom.  
A tear spilled from his younger brother's face.

Mr. Holmes and Dr. Helms got into the ambulance, while Mycroft could only berate himself all the way, to the incessant scolding of his mother, who honestly deserved it.

________________________________________________________

HOSPITAL 🏥: 

Carl slowly opened the door to Sherlock's room.  
\- Good Morning  
\- Doctor! . Mr. Holmes said as he got up from his chair next to his son's stretcher and shook his hands.  
\- How are you today, Sherlock?  
\- I want to go home ...  
\- I know, I'm here for it. I wanted to discuss your diagnosis with your parents and your brother.  
\- I'm glad ... to know ... that ... I wasn't crazy.  
\- No, far from it. Said the doctor, taking a chair and inviting the Holmes to sit down.  
\- So what does my brother have?  
\- As I suspected previously and after pulmonary function tests we have performed, we have concluded that Sherlock ... has severe asthma.  
\- How can that be? My child ..  
\- Mom, I'm not a baby!  
\- According to what Mycroft told me, it was not the first time it happened. Perhaps it had an onset as childhood asthma, which was overlooked, now we are facing a stronger outbreak.  
\- "This sucks," Sherlock said, as he pulled the Venturi mask off his face.  
\- Hey! Don't do that Sherlock  
\- Behave Sherlock! You're not at home.  
\- Okay, okay..Now the important thing is that he can recovers and in about one week I will let him go home.  
\- As you order. Said the older Holmes  
-When you are at home you will have to use oxygen by cannula when your saturation drops below 90, I will prescribe a strong medication to stop the asthma attacks and preventive ones. A nurse will come later and will teach you and your parents , how to handle inhalers and other medications, they are the ones who better know about these issues, widely.  
\- How do you feel about all this Sherlock?  
\- It sucks, but at least ... I know what I have, although I hate the idea of carrying medications ... everywhere.  
\- Indeed, I will come to check you at home, twice a week.  
\- Thanks for everything, Doctor.  
\- There's no reason. Can I have a moment outside? Mr. and Mrs. Holmes.  
________________________________________________________

**In the hospital room**

\- I'm so sorry, Sherlock  
\- You have nothing to excuse.  
\- No, really ... you could have died and ...  
\- Mycroft, thank you for being there and defending me from those idiots.  
\- Love you .  
\- Always, dear brother.

**Out of the room**

\- Doctor?  
-Hey, I know it's none of my business, but ... you should consider stopping sending Sherlock to normal school and moving him to homeschool. The episode that he had can be repeated. I know Sherlock suffers from bullying and from what I see one of the triggers for his asthma is emotional tension ... just ... you should consider it.  
\- It's okay, Doctor. We will seriously consider it. Thanks for everything, really Carl.  
\- I will always be here for your family, Holmes.

******************  
Tell me what do you think , dear fans.


	4. Pretending

Today

The truth was, Greg had done a great job distracting away the doctor from Sherlock. He always told him on the phone that he was busy with cases or running after suspects and had in fact agreed with Mycroft that the lie be covered up in the best possible way, trying to give John typical answers that the detective would give him in the real life, at least they believed that, John didn't suspect anything , at the moment.

\- Dear brother, unless you have decided to tell the truth to your precious doctor, I am communicating that I will bring a cleaning team of my total confidence to do something with this apartment . I doubt that John will be happy with any of this ... disaster  
\- They can mess with the living room, the kitchen is forbidden and my room too.  
\- Have you already chosen a place to store your medications without raising suspicion?  
\- Im taking care of that. It's none of your business

Mycroft didn't allow Sherlock to close his door by interposing the umbrella.

\- Don't even think I'm going to stop watching you, not now, less now. You know I doubt your ability to be an adult ... as we would call it, functional.  
\- Mycroft, you doubt my functionality, since my addiction.  
\- Yeah, but now I don't want you to die of respiratory arrest and that no one can do something to help you ...if I'm not here.  
\- You have me monitored 24/7, I don't know how your definition of being here does not include that.  
\- You know what I mean, I ... I wasn't by your side the last time and... you almost... died. When I found you... you weren't breathing.  
\- Are you finished with sentimentality?  
\- Seriously?  
\- Sorry Mycroft, it wasn't my intention, I just ... I want to have a little more freedom.  
\- Okay, okay, whatever you say, just promise me that you will have your rescue medications at all times and that you will carry the medical alert bracelet, please.  
\- Okay, if that makes you feel better..  
\- Bye, little brother. This afternoon they will come to exorcise this place.  
\- Whatever.

_________________________________________________________

Later that day .

-Mrs Hudson !!!! I'm so happy to see you !!!!  
-Ohh honey! I am also very happy to have you here  
-Oh no! Don't tell me that Sherlock has been irreparably unbearable...  
-Nooo dear , On the contrary, he has taken good care of Rosie and created somewhat more stable... habits.  
-I'm very happy for him .. I guess he's upstairs?  
-Yes, but ... he told me if you came please don't go up to his room because he was in an important experiment. (Knowing that Sherlock was doing his nebulizer session at this time of the morning, and that anyone who will approach the room would notice)  
-Mrs Hudson, I want to tell you something...  
\- Tell me darling  
\- Throughout these years I have learned to know when a person is lying to me about something ...  
\- John, please.  
-Besides, he knows that he can't do experiments when he's alone with Rosie  
-John, just wait for about 20 minutes, he's busy.  
\- No !  
____________________________________________________

John ran upstairs and noticed that Rosie, who was currently 4 years old, was sleeping peacefully on the sofa.He went to Sherlock's room and when he tried to open , he realized that it was under lock .

\- Sherlock, are you there? Open the door.  
\- * Oh shit*  
\- How do you dare to left Rosie unattended!  
\- Give me just a second John.  
\- What's that noise?  
\- Nothing, nothing, an experiment, a video indeed.

Fuck! Sherlock certainly didn't expect John to arrive so quickly, at least he hoped they would let him know. As soon as he could, he turned off the nebulizer and tuck it under the bed quickly covering it with a shirt. He opened the window to try to clear the little mist that was left in his room, while he waved his hands.  
He tried to look in the mirror, he looked like shit, but he would fix it with a... fake smile and quick talk. He opened the door.

\- John, it's good to see you, I love you.  
\- I love you too. A kiss?  
\- A kiss would be nice ...

\- That was a little better. No? John said as he leaned against the door frame.  
\- Sorry, sorry to leave Rosie alone, I was trying not to wake her up with the video and stuff.  
\- Yes? I would swear it sounded... almost like a nebulizer ..  
\- ( Sherlock froze,) The truth is, my experiments are not related to the medical area, leave that to my husband ...  
\- Seriously? I could swear your room has a certain albuterol smell ...  
\- You must be confused, I had to mix some chemicals and I did it in there, you know ... for Rosie's safety.  
\- Yes, of course, you are absolutely right. John said, not entirely convinced.  
\- And ... how was your trip?  
\- well, when we arrive ...

John decided to put that thought away for now, while he sank into conversation with Sherlock, because frankly ... what would Sherlock do with a nebulizer at home? It was definitely not his style.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please feel free to comment anything and give me recommendation ;)


	5. December 25th

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm soooooo freaking sorry ! I just could update until now .University has been crazy bc Corona .I promise that I will be able to update this work every day.
> 
> As always , please feel free to comment.

\- Daddy, can we go outside to play with the snow? I sawww that you could makey snowmeeen at schoolllll.

Sherlock moaned internally

\- Rosie, it's getting a little cold outside. If your daddy knows we're going out and you catch a cold, we can't go to Molly's house to New Year.

John could hear the entire conversation as he walked down from his old room into the living room.

\- Sherlock I assure you that it will not bother you . Go out a little and breathe fresh air, also ... I would gladly join a snowball fight !!!  
\- Yes daddy, yeah, let's playyyyyyyy!!! yujuyihuuhuyuhhh . Rosie yelled cheerfully as she ran in circles around the room.  
\- Come on Sherlock! We will have a great time, I haven't done this in decades.

John approached Sherlock smiling and took his hand, resting his head on the inspector's shoulder.  
\- I don't know John, I still have a few cases to solve before Greg goes on vacation and ..  
\- Sherlock! Don't be boring. Come on Rosie, let's put on some jackets and go outside.  
we hope you are ready in 5 minutes.  
Sherlock just gave a rolleye while he got into the room.

Sherlock had a soft spot and yes, it was Rosie. He couldn't hide it easily. It is not that he wanted to pamper the girl with everything she asked to him, but many times he did not feel that love that he was looking for in her parents. He felt that they only were worried daily with: did you take your medications? How are u doing? Have you had attacks? You can't go out to play! Do you need more medication? How are the results of the medical tests? Etc. There came a point where Sherlock unconsciously began to get sick too many times a year and no one understood why. He had good control of his disease and did everything his parents told him. Finally a psychologist had told the Holmes that Sherlock was physically expressing his lack of attention and family love, which was true, Sherlock had become a pathology for his family, that represented him. Sherlock hated it and loved it, asthma made him feel loved in a strange way.

As he slipped two jumper under his coat , Sherlock looked into the locked drawer in a small dresser that he kept strategically located in the room. It had been a few weeks since John arrived and they had decided to sleep together in his room, and that had complicated all the things a bit. They could had enough time together to train for their honeymoon, they would be married in January and that was special, but he too had had to maneuver carefully to take his medications and tell Greg to help him with John.

SHERLOCK !!! move on ! We are waiting .  
The doctor yelled from the first floor, Sherlock was betting $ 10 that Mrs. Hudson was giving them chocolate cookies.

He quickly proceeded to shake the inhaler and take two puffs of the medicine, taking time to enjoy the fading sensation of the tension building up in his chest. He took the second inhaler and repeated the process. He had 30 seconds of doubt between taking the rescue inhalers or leaving them, he decided to take them, he had promised himself ... The inhalers remained deep in an internal pocket of his coat.

He put on the leather gloves Mycroft had given him and went downstairs.

\- Ready?  
\- Always and no thanks ... Mrs. Hudson, I don't want chocolate chip cookies.  
\- You don't know what you're missing, Sherlock  
\- We re goinnnnnn to make a very big snuuuuuuuwman !!  
\- "Certainly big ," Sherlock said as he took her little hand.

________________________________________________________

One hour had turned into two, and two into three. They had been playing for three blessed hours in the cold London winter and he felt awful.

\- Hey Sherlock! Are you going to let us win that easy?  
\- Don't even... think about it... John!

Sherlock knew well how to hide his wheezings from John's hearing. Every time he got too close , Sherlock would throw him a snowball at his face . It was honestly not the best strategy, but it worked.

\- I think ....I'll take ....a break in.... the chair... there.  
-Okay, we will go to look for sticks to put in Mr. Cool's hands.  
-We'll see ...you there.

Sherlock watched when John and Rosie ran away into a small forest of the park they were in and when he saw they were far enough away, he dropped his facade. As he walked to the bench, he thought he might vomit on the white snow, due to the unstoppable cough that tried to dislodge all the mucus that was trapped in his bronchial tubes. He barely reached the chair, pulled a pulse oximeter from his bag and wiped some snow off him, warmed his finger gently and waited for the number to show. 82 wasn't a number he liked, but he would have to live with it for at least a few more hours.

He took a moment to verify that John, Rosie or some gossip wasn't around to get the albuterol out and take two doses in a nimble manner. He repeated the process about four times it didn't work. His second option, his another inhaler. He reached into his pocket for the ipratropium inhaler and couldn't find it. Shit.

Sherlock got up and started looking for where they had been playing with Rosie. Would John have seen it? Would he have taken it? Would Rosie have taken it? Fuck! At the moment he wasn't finding it anywhere, how could a red inhaler be invisible in the white surface, damn it! He felt more pressure in his chest, it was the situation ... he tried to console himself by failing in the process.

\- Hey Sherlock! Come here . John yelled at him who was a good few feet from him placing more sticks in the snowman's arms.

Sherlock stood up and for a second he saw some sticks on the ground, took them, and proceeded to pretending being really fine .

\- What were you looking for on the floor? Your ego? After covering yourself in snow? Hahaha who would say? The great Sherlock Holmes defeated by a 4 year old girl.  
Sherlock smiled under the scarf that covered him. Sherlock knew that he loved him.

\- Can ....we go... now?  
\- Sherlock Holmes, allergic to cold now?  
\- John...I think ....I'm catching ...a... cold.  
\- You're good? Okay, I'm going to pick up Rosie from the swing and we're going home. You can get into the car if you want.  
\- I'll wait ...for you... there.

When Sherlock got in the car, he turned the heat on as high as he could, the hot air just caused him to cough up his second remaining lung. He unbuttoned the top of his shirt and the buttons of his jumpers.

As he settled with his hands on his legs trying to get his back as upright as possible, while he felt that his lungs were not cooperatingbat all ...when he saw the red inhaler on the floor of the car. At least he hadn't lost it, his soul had returned to his body.

It took 6 inhalations of the two medications and he could breathe deeply without coughing, and not sound like he was dying. When his breathing was going back to normal , he noticed Mycroft calling.

\- Did you take your medication Sherlock? Answer to me ! I'm calling Carl right now.  
\- No, just .. give me ...a minute  
\- I'm sending Antea to your location.  
\- NOOOO Mycroft! I can ... do it by ... myself  
\- Your saturation dropped to 76 for a few moments  
\- It was, not.... anymore. Sherlock said as he looked at both his pulsox and his smart medical bracelet that scored a magnificent 92.  
\- Okay, okay. But another one of these for today and I'm picking you up by ambulance.  
\- Don't be so dramatic.  
\- As if you don't know me, dear brother.  
\- Goodbye.

Sherlock saw that John and Rosie were almost to the car and proceeded to pack all his paraphernalia in his coat.

\- Wow Sherlock! What were you doing with all the hot air in here like this, you could be more careful.  
\- Sorry, I was freezing.  
\- Daddy, we left Mr. Cool alone. He won't feel saddd?"  
\- I don't think so Rosie, later someone will put another one nearby and have a family.  
\- Like you and daddy and me, right? That way he won't be alone.  
\- Exactly , my beautiful princess!

Sherlock and John looked at each other in the front seats, gave each other a chaste kiss and smiled.

\- gewwwww that disgusting dads!

Sherlock and John could only laugh as they made their way down the road to Baker Street. Sherlock reached into the pocket of his coat as he sneakily played with his inhaler. This time he had been so close.


	6. New what? Year , challenge , life or problem

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't let me die here . I need your comments .

It was a cold January morning , when Sherlock decided to play the violin, he was composing a suite for Rosie. Although, London winter was not hitting hard today, he could see the snow settle softly on the street as he tapped the softest notes Ms. Hudson had heard in years.

Rosie was coloring in a mandala book that Sergeant Donovan had given her. Anderson and Donovan had finally accepted their romance and along the way smoothed out rough edges with Sherlock, everyone in the Yard knew it was an irrational waste of time and energy that only led to disrupting work (although everything was achieved and influenced by unknown older brother ... who is not need to be mentioned), however this had helped Sherlock to handle cases in a more effective and agile way.

Sherlock heard when Mrs. Hudson came out muttering something related to a visit and delaying , Sherlock had not given importance to the situation, until Lestrade called requesting the services of him.

"Sherlock, I know you must be busy with the Bralong house diamond case, but I need you here... now, we're a bit lost."

"Lestrade, when has the Yard not been lost without me? No chance for you to send pictures or something?"

"I'm sorry Sherlock, but the deceased's wife is a bit fussy about her husband."

"Lestrade, I'm alone with Rosie and John is in consultation until 5 PM and it's only 7 AM, I can't leave her alone."

"And Mrs. Hudson? She would be delighted."

"She can't, she went out to visit a friend and surely it must be Mrs. Kardon, who she hasn't mentioned for years, but I have managed to think that they have had a strong friendship relationship for the last fe..."

"Stop Sherlock! , it was already clear to me that you have nothing available. You can bring her, but she cannot enter on the house. I will tell Donovan to entertain her for now."

"Well thanks"

"I'll wait for you at the corner of Hyland way and Candover Road"

"See you in an hour"

_________________________________

"Daddy, where are we going?"

"Rosie, I'll tell you, but you have to promise me that .."

"... I won't tell Daddy"

"Exactly. If he found out , that I'ma driving you to my cases , he would be so happy to kill me."

"Let's go to your work ??? Yupiiiiii. So let's see Uncle Gregson catch the bad guys ????. Daddy , I always wanted to gooooohhh ." Rosie said jumping all over the room

"Rosie hey hey calm down! Let's go, but not a single word to your dad. Catching the bad guys is something different. Got it? Not a word to anyone"

"Hmh! Silence kept, never revealed" They said in unison.

"That's my little girl. Now , go and put on winter clothes"

"Yes Daddy Sher" he mentioned she as she climbed the stairs to her room.

_______________________________________________________

"Good God, what took you so long?"  
"I don't know Lestrade, maybe it's morning and everyone is trying to go to work? And that the point is considerably far from Baker Street."

"Sorry, I was just saying, it's an expression"

"Uncle Gregson !!! How have you been? I've missed you so much. You have to go home with Molly more often."

"Hi little one! I'd really love to go. I've just been so busy that I haven't had time to stop by. But for now while your dad works with me, you can stay with Sergeant Donovan and keep coloring."

"Daddy? I mean, why can't I go in to see the dead man? I want to see   
..what you do!"

"Noooo Rosie, you don't have the age for it. And don't even try to get closer, okay? It's an order"

"It's not fair! I want to see how daddy works!

"Honey, I know it can be a bit impressive at first, but then it gets boring, trust me."

"I heard that Donovan. Are you fighting with Anderson?"

Donovan could only force a rolleye and laugh as he reached out for Rosie to go to a police tent. Rosie had reluctantly agreed, although soon after she was happy coloring her book.  
__________________________

Twenty minutes later they were capturing the "wife" of the deceased, who was actually the niece of the guy's lover.  
Actually , she and the guy had murdered the guy's wife and the first lover trying to steal the fortune. In the end she wanted all the money, at the cost of anything.

"Hey! Sherlock. Do you want to go get something to eat? I skipped breakfast and would eat a boat if possible right now."

"Okay! That sounds good to me, plus we didn't have breakfast with Rosie either and she sure is hungry."

"Done, I'll wait for you in my car"

"It's okay, Lestrade"

Police tent : 

" Are you leaving? "  
"Yes Sergeant and thank you for taking care of her"  
"No way! We were entertained by talking about how I met you"  
"A little strange, that topic of conversation"  
"No Daddy, I really can't believe you let yourself be called a freak"  
"Donovan! Pfff, grab your things quick.. hunny, Uncle Gregson is waiting for us"  
"Sorry Freakkk, I had to do it" Donovan said softly and kindly, as he tried to suppress a laugh.  
"I can't believe it" he uttered as he smiled slightly at the police and they walked to the car with Rosie

"And Sherlock .. let Lestrade get to the station early, he needs to do the paperwork."

"Whatever" he mentioned as they got into the car.

_________________________________________________

" For me a cappuccino and a homelet with toast, Sherlock? "  
"For me, a tea with cookies and pancakes"  
"Daddy! I want pancakes too"  
"Anything else gentlemen?"  
"No, that's all for now, thanks."

Rosie was now playing on Sherlock's cell phone, while the adults talked.

"Sherlock and ... how was everything with John?"  
"Good? How should I respond to that? Now he's in consultation and then maybe he'll stop by the university."  
" You know what I mean..."  
"That is not a topic to speak in front of her, Lestrade"  
"Does that tell me you haven't told anyone?"  
"Mrs. Hudson and my family know.  
"Well ... your family, family ... should re-consider"  
" I wanted you to give me some advice, actually "


	7. New what? I I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer : No money , no my characters , just fun and write because ...yes.
> 
> Please feel free to comment if u like.   
> Thanks

"Sherlock, I think we need to talk about THAT."  
"Lestrade, you invited me to breakfast or to talk about my condition... you already know I don't want to touch on"  
"Hey, I'm trying to support you on this. Remember I did CPR on you for at least 10 minutes, that must mean something. Like for example: please try not to stop breathing at my crime scene ... plus Mycroft almost killed me for making you go while you had the flu. I won't make that mistake again. "  
"I'm not blaming you for anything here"  
"It's not a question of blaming me, it's that you told me it was something mild ..., you lied to me and when you were on the floor without breathing ... I freaked out. I almost shit my pants, sherlock"  
"Sorry, How can I fix it?"  
"It's not enough to say I'm sorry , and you know it. Mycroft almost hit me outside the hospital, I didn't understand anything"  
"Look Lestrade .. seriously, seriously ... I'm really sorry. I lied to you because I thought I could handle it and I estimated that I could make it to the apartment before collapsing in front of you"  
"Look everyone, the great Sherlock Holmes apologizing ... memorable" he said in a friendly way to Sherlock as the detective smiled at him.  
"Apologies accepted, but you have to tell John"  
"Coming soon .. For now keep it a secret.... Do you like your pancakes, honey?"  
"Yes daddy they are very deliciusssddddd"  
Sherlock and Gregson smiled  
_______________________________________________________

Although , they thought that because I was little I didn't realize what Daddy and Uncle Greg were talking about, I knew Daddy was acting weird.  
He didn't want to talk about "it", maybe it was about some bad man they had to capture? Maybe if they talk about him in public someone can hear them and they can never capture him, right?

Although Uncle Gregson was a little worried about my daddy for some reason, did he say something about not being able to breathe? Was my dad sick? I don't think so, my dad told me that he never got sick. Maybe I shouldn't listen to other people's conversations ...

That he had done CPR on him? It sounds funny and I think I read it in the anatomy books that Dad Jhonny has in the living room, I'll have to ask Dad when he gets home. That my uncle had almost pooped his pants? Hahaha what? He is a big boy to do that,l. We big children, should go to the bathroom alone ... it must have been terrible for Uncle Gregson to clean himself, I think he doesn't have a mother, his mother is in heaven "

"Coming soon .. For now keep it a secret. Do you like your pancakes, honey?"  
"Yes daddy they are very deliciusssddddd" The truth was that panqueques were better than when Dad Johnny sometimes is doing it ...  
But that would also be a secret, like the one daddy Sherlock is keeping with Uncle Gregson.

______________________________________________

"Say goodbye to Uncle Gregson, sweetheart"  
"Goodbye Uncle Gregson and thanks for the pancakes" Rosie said as she said waved her little hand to Lestrade, who was walking away from the duo due to an urgent call from Yard  
"Did you like breakfast?"  
"Yes daddy, I have not eaten pancakessss in a looung time. I really like them."  
"Good, now we have to go to the store to get ready to go to your new school and buy your school supplies."  
"Yujuuu. Daddy can you buy me another box of colors?"  
"Sure little one, let's go"

Baker street - 6pm:

The duo arrived at Baker Street with all the bags full of more things than necessary for Rosie's kindergarten, but there was so many stickers, ribbons, colors, notebooks and things ... Sherlock had to buy her everything.

"Honey, you can help me by holding this bag, Daddy needs to take the keys out of his pocket to open it."  
"Yes daddy. Give it to me, I'll help you" As Rosie's little hands were holding the small package, she realized that her dad was struggling not to drop the 7 bags he was carrying, while he was looking for the correct key to open the door of 221.  
Just then , when he pulled out the key and pushed open the door, John called Sherlock to find out how the tour of the store had gone. The detective took out his cell phone and began to be a multitasker, opening the door, talking to John, saying hello to Mrs. Hudson ... and NOT realizing that his inhaler had fallen on the soft entrance mat.

Rosie quickly stopped to look at the object that had fallen from her dad's coat and proceeded to put it in her jacket pocket. Dad always said it was bad to interrupt people when they talked and now he was talking to Daddy Johnny himself. she would tell him ,later .  
Sherlock turned to see how Rosie was walking slowly through the door and gestured for her to go upstairs to change and be ready for when John arrived and took her out for a bath with rubber duck named Mr. Benedict.

Rosie ran upstairs with Mrs. Hudson to the living room to unload all the bags and start sorting them on Rosy's tiny desk there. Sherlock hung up the call that in conclusion had said that John would be there in just over 30 minutes to bathe Rosie. Sherlock saw Mrs Hudson coming down with a wide smile on her face to the first floor.  
"Oh dear, you have to see her! She is so excited to go to school tomorrow with all her little things."  
"I think so Mrs. Hudson, she almost made me buy the whole store."  
"Childhood stuff Sherlock, have a good night"  
"Same for you, Happy evening"

With that , Sherlock proceeded to run upstairs in a nimble manner only to stop abruptly when he reached the door to the living room, when he felt the difficulty breathing properly followed by a coughing attack that made him urgently search inside his pocket to find his epinephrine inhaler , but not the target . He was looking for the albuterol one although ...this should work, isn't it? . The very sensation of asphyxia made him take off the scarf he was wearing.

___________________________________________________________

After three puffs of the epinephrine inhaler and without finding any effect, he decided to try to reach the living room sofa to sit down and look more calmly for the albuterol one.. he didn't know what had triggered it ... the pollution? Any odorless irritant? His emotions? The cold? ... He hadn't had a crisis in weeks, his medications were working. Shit ...

"Daddy, are you okay?"  
"Yeah ... Rosie ... Dad...dy just nee...ds some...thing" Sherlock tried his best to get to the couch.  
"Is this... daddy ? " Rosie said as she pulled Sherlock's inhaler out of her pocket.  
"Yeah ... that's ...my ....inhaler" Sherlock just smiled slightly at him as he closed his eyes.

Without hesitation for a second, Sherlock settled on the couch and walked into his mental palace, shook the inhaler and after two puffs and a few moments of deep breathing, there was that wonderful sensation of his bronchial tubes opening, followed by a bunch of horrible coughs....that should help to clear the thick mucus. After a few minutes Sherlock reacted, damn it! Rosie had seen it all and she could feel a distinctive weight on her shoulder and the little hand gently running through the curls of his hair in a really relaxing way.  
He loved her daughter.

"Daddy, I was very scared. Are you okay?  
"Daddy ....is fine ...now ... But Daddy ...needs a fa....vor!"  
"What you want daddy? "  
"Daddy Johnny can't.... know any....thing about what happened ....today"  
"But daddy, you're sick. Daddy could help you better, daddy is a doctor ... he cures people"  
"Dear, this is ...not the.... case. I don't want.. Dad to know about this or ...about this morning's... case."  
"But Daddddddd! I'm not going to tell him about the dead man this morning, but if you're sick you should tell him! Daddy can help you!

"Rosie! Stop ... Dad already.... has another doctor, because he doesn't ...want to worry Daddy, ....okay? And don't make me raise my voice, when ...I tell you to do it, you comply without askingg, ...understand?  
"Yes dad, sorry"  
"Okay, I love you ... just listen to me please ... now it's a secret"  
"Secret kept, never revealed" ... although Rosie did not pronounce it this time together with her father, that would be enough for it to be understood that she was not going to keep this secret, she wanted a father to be healthy.

"I'm going to go upstairs to prepare your bubble bath, while you take off those clothes, come on Rosie"

___________________________________________

As Sherlock quickly put his meds in the locked drawer of his room, he thought about today and really hoped that Rosie wasn't going to blow the whistle with John about him .

“Sherlock!” John yelled as he took the stairs two at a time.  
"How was , then? '  
"Well, I almost bought the whole store ... but it was great" Sherlock said as she gave him three coughs that sounded terrible to John  
"Fuck Sherlock, I think you have the flu"  
"I'm fine, I'm Sherlock Holmes, I never get sick John ... that's for normal people"  
"Of course ..." John said approaching and giving her a deep kiss.  
" What about that?"  
"Much better. Rosie is upstairs in the bathroom, waiting for you."  
"Oh right! Pfff today was a difficult day"  
"I'm going to rest for a while in the room"  
"See, no problem, today was a strenuous day for you . I don't doubt it."

Sherlock nodded trying to hide another round of coughing that he hoped to release into the room from him.  
_____________________________________________

Rosie was sitting on the toilet in her little bathrobe, looking at pictures from a Daddy John book. It wasn't that she could write very well yet, but reading was her thing and she knew that what dad Sherlock had talked about with Uncle Gregson this morning ,she had read in books

"Daddyooooooo" Rosie ran into John's arms as he lifted her up.  
"Rosie ... what ... what are you doing with my books? What did I tell you about asking me first huh?"  
"Sorry daddy, I just wanted to read a little and also I like the images in this book"  
"Come on Rosie, you have a lot of age-appropriate books. These are for older people and they also have things you shouldn't see."  
"Daddy, the books that I have below are nice but ... they don't have real people, they only talk about stories that are about animals"  
"Yes, I know. But at your age I read that and I liked them. I had been terrified if I had read Moore's clinical anatomy at your age hahah"  
"That's because you weren't a girl and girls like me are very brave to see things. Like the man with the open belly of the green book you have"  
John quickly left down her in the floor with a shocked face.

"What? Rosie !!!! I told you ...you can't touch THAT book, I told you that's prohibited , NOT that book. It has pictures that you can't see in any way ... not until you're really big!"  
Rosie and she had started to sob and little tears were gathering in her little eyes.Anatomical dissection theory, definitely couldn't be read by her

"Sorry daddy, don't yell at me, I just saw that one and took it . Dad was consulting something about a case and I didn't ask for his permission, it's the truth. I'm sorry ..."  
John was heartbroken  
"Oh Rosie that's fine, sorry I didn't want to yell at you no way. You're my peach heart. Forgive me, I just wanted to tell you that you can't touch that book again, okay?  
"Okay daddy. Can I take a bath with Mr. Benedict?"  
"Of course Rosie, let me get it."  
John turned the water on to the tub and went to find Rosie's duckling.

"Look here is Mr. Benedict  
Well let's put you in the tub and in the meantime I'm going to be here with you playing because I'll also bring Mr. Quaker "

" Daddy, your rubber duck is too old, you should change it. "  
"Rosie hahaha is my childhood duck. My brother Harry bought it for me."  
"She is not as cute as Mr. Benedict, anyway"

John went and took his duck , that was in the cabinet under the sink and immediately noticed a small black briefcase in the bottom that was partially covered by folded towels. Who would leave that? Sherlock, of course. Should it be another experiment or a weapon? Anyways later he would keep an eye on her.

"Here it is!" John placed a small chair in front of the tub and shampooed Rosie in her hair while she took the ducks and made them dance on the water, John loved her.

___________________________________________

Sherlock for his part and taking advantage of the noise of Mrs. Hudson's ballads on the first floor, decided to start his treatment with the nebulizer, he definitely needed it. The cough was getting uncomfortable and he didn't want to have another attack like being late. Speaking was difficult for him and he just wanted everything if his respiratory system to open and let him sleep well, he did not know what the trigger had been, but he would have to control it. He couldn't afford to have another episode in front of Rosie, kids at that age can ask a lot of questions.

Sherlock opened the top of the nebulizer, placed the albuterol, and proceeded to take the mouthpiece between his lips and breathe in the mist ... the precious mist and go to his mind palace.

After 20 minutes he felt MUCH better than before. He took his pills and inhalers deciding that he would take a hot bath and go to sleep, since last year's severe crisis he had decided to correct that "bad habit" that he had long believed would interrupt his performance in cases, but not It was like that.

After finishing drying his hair, he put on his pajamas and went to bed thinking that he had had a great time with Rosie, she was not his blood daughter ... but family is more than that, it was love and he loved Rosie and John more than anything in the world. So he fell asleep thinking about whom he loved the most.

______________________________

"Daddy boom* boom*... My duck can swim faster boom* boom* !"  
"I don't think so Ros, my duck has much more experience" John replied with a cute giggle as he rinsed off the conditioner from Rosie's hair and pushed his duck into the water ... They were racing and his duck couldn't lose.  
"You're right daddy, Mr. Quaker won this time"  
"I told you, however Mr. Quaker says they both won because Mr. Benedict is very good too"  
"Okay, the two Mr. Ducks have won today"  
"Daddy, a question ... what is CPR?"

John looked at her in surprise and doubt ... well maybe, she had read it in the book, right?

"Why are you asking me that Rosie? Did you read it in the book?"  
"No Daddy , I didn't read it in the book, I heard it"  
"Hmm ... well, CPR is a maneuver, like an action Rosie ... something you have to do when a person is very sick and you have to cure them so that they can live"  
"And daddy ... what is shitting your pants?"  
"What? Rosie! But what kind of conversation were you listening to? Dad said that? That's a bad word and I don't want you to repeat it, okay? Never Rosie..in addition it is an expression to say that you were very scared ... but no! you can't repeat it!  
"It's okay daddy. My dad was talking to Uncle Greg and he said it, I thought he really had to go to the bathroom in his pants heheh"  
"Oh Rosie!" Please, I'll tell Uncle Gregson to be more careful with his vocabulary and if he would have been done in his pants. He would be very sorry and I don't think he will tell Sherlock. "  
"I'm sleepy. Dad."  
"Come here, honey." John said arranging the covers on Rosie's bed.  
"Daddy, happy night"  
"Don't you want me to read you a story?"  
"No Daddy, I'm very tired, but Daddy please don't tell my dad Sherlock that I read that book, he will get very angry with me"  
"No Hunny , I will not tell him ... although he's ssss Sherlock Holmes, perhaps he already realized it and did not tell you"  
"Daddy keep me the secret!"  
"No, no, no Rosie. What did we say about that? Eh? In our family there is no need for secrets, we must be honest and always tell the truth. Adults who ask children to keep secrets are bad. .Rosie has someone asked you to keep secrets?

Rosie just couldn't say anything and she froze

"Hey Rosie ... Answer me. I'm your daddy and you can trust me"

Oh God ... oh God ... Is someone abusing Rosie? John never thought that. He had never taught her keeping secrets and ... well you know what they tell you in medical school and all psychologists, keeping secrets is wrong for kids. He didn't want to be paranoid, but it didn't sound right at all. After all, Sherlock had taught him that all people would hide something.

Rosie for her part was scared, she didn't expect Daddy John to ask her that. So that meant that Dad Sherlock and Uncle Gregson were bad people? Like the one they caught? Was her dad a bad person? She couldn't believe it, Dad was one of the good guys, they would always both be good people, but now Daddy John was accusing them of being bad ...She didn't know what to answer.

"Is it bad to keep secrets?"  
"Rosie, it depends, okay? But you shouldn't have them with me or your dad, understood?"  
"Yes daddy! I just wanted to know what keeping a secret was ... after all, why if Dad keeps secrets with Uncle Gregson, why can't I?"

"Hunny? What kind of secrets?.  
Sherlock hasn't told me anything ... well of course that would be because of the secret obviously, but ... if you know something, it's okay if you want to tell me, okay?

"Yes daddy, no one is asking me to keep secrets ... that was the conversation I overheard! Just that"

John didn't want to meddle with Sherlock's business, but he hadn't told him anything.

"Have a good night daddy, I love you very much"  
"The same my princess" And with a kiss on the forehead John left the room turning off the light behind him "

___________________________________

A fter a quick hot bath John came to bed and asked Sherlock: 

"Sherlock ..."  
"Hmmm ..."  
"Hey ... I don't know if you're awake, but we have to talk tomorrow, please"  
"Mhm whatever"  
"Good night love"  
"Good night Johnny"


End file.
